100 Days of Theory and Holding Talks in Enugu

By Mike Ezikeanyi

When Peter Mbah shut down the whole of Godfrey Okoye University just to present his big book on how he would rule Enugu State, I knew that Enugu was in trouble. Planning is good; however, for anyone who is coming to work with a work plan as big as Mbah’s, it would take far longer time to read the book than to do the job. That’s why all that ndi Enugu have seen in 100 days of Mbah’s administration is motion without movement.

The only difference between the clueless Mbah and someone else indulging in marathon talking is that he had written down his own interminable talk in an impossibly huge volume of vague theories. It is a known fact that when it takes so long for someone to explain what he wants to do, he really doesn’t know what he  wants to do. All that Mbah and his people have done so far is explain how he would do one thing or another in Enugu, without a dot being done anywhere.

There’s a huge difference between talking and doing. All we have heard in place of concrete action in Enugu is grammar. The people’s ears have been stuffed full of grammar laced with exotic lingos during photo shoots on the portico of the Lion Building. Grammar on press releases by the power-mongering SSG. Grammar in meetings and seminars — talking about everything conceivable and doing the least about anything, no matter how pretentious. It appears his manifesto is still being written. Or, perhaps because he knows his time is limited, he is cleverly diverting our attention while our treasury is bleeding.

Since the advent of his temporary government, Mbah and his SSG have held meetings with just about anyone, local and foreign, talking and talking much more. These were usually followed by releases that distil their priorities which border on such things as how to ban sit-at-home, how to lock up the shops of traders who defied their order to open their shops, how to confiscate cars with tinted glasses in the state, plans to organise more town hall meetings, more seminars, more workshops and many more of such weird talkshops. 

These have naturally left citizens flustered and flabbergasted. All the pre-election hype has simply petered out in such ineffectual anticlimax. The most curious thing, however, is not minding having an encyclopaedia-sized book of magic (sorry, manifesto) because of which they didn’t allow Enugu people to sleep; they claimed it contained all the recipes for their development as well as remedies for all of the state’s problems. None of the thousands of words written there could be translated into a single action in the 100 days they have been in office. Yet, they shamelessly celebrated the empty 100 days. Their conscience was never pricked by the impressive results of other governors who came into office on the same day with them. It was agonising to the people of Enugu to see the substance and evidence of focused leadership in states such as Ebonyi, Abia and Rivers, contrary to the propagandised chasing of shadows in their unfortunate state.

Since many can hardly remember the title they gave their big book of theories, they might seek the permission of Ola Rotimi’s estate to appropriately rename it “Holden Talks in Enugu ”, after the dramatist’s absurdist play text. This is exactly what it is in Enugu, after the drama of churning out thousands of ideas of work — coupled with the propaganda of hitting the ground running with these — when in reality they were just running with only their very loud mouths. Gbaa! Ochichi Enugu gab’te imi utaba!